Am I A Starseed or Just Different….

Have I Always Been a Starseed?

Lately I’ve been learning more about the idea of starseeds, and whether you believe they’re literal souls from somewhere beyond Earth or simply a metaphor for people who have always felt a little different, I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s one of those concepts that has been quietly following me around for weeks now because the more I read about it, the more pieces of my own life start coming back to me.

I’ve always felt different.

Not better than anyone else, and honestly not even in a lonely way most of the time. It’s hard to explain. It’s more like I have spent my whole life feeling as though everyone else understood something that I didn’t. Almost like life was a play, everyone around me had been handed the script ahead of time, and somehow I walked onto the stage completely unprepared.

I remember feeling this even when I was little. I never seemed to care much about the things everyone else cared about. I was always questioning why people did things the way they did. Why are we all expected to follow the same path? Why does success have to look one particular way? Why are we rushing through life? Even as a kid I don’t remember wanting the things I was supposed to want.

As I got older, I honestly thought maybe that feeling would go away. I thought college would answer it. Then I thought maybe getting into Cornell would answer it. I worked incredibly hard, graduated from an Ivy League school, and eventually found myself in corporate America. From the outside, it looked like everything had fallen into place exactly the way it was supposed to.

But if I’m being completely honest, I don’t remember ever feeling like I belonged there.

I actually enjoyed recruiting. I worked with good people and learned so much, but there was always this quiet feeling inside of me that I couldn’t ignore. I would sit at my desk and wonder if everyone else really wanted this life, or if we were all just participating in a system because it was the one we inherited. It felt like I had spent years climbing a ladder only to realize I wasn’t interested in where it was leading.

Looking back now, I don’t think I was searching for a different job. I think I was searching for a different way to live.

Motherhood only amplified that feeling.

When I became a mom, something shifted inside me. Instead of looking outward for answers, I started looking inward. I realized I wanted to build a life that actually reflected our family’s values instead of automatically accepting what everyone else seemed to be doing. That eventually led us toward homeschooling and an alternative educational path. It led me toward staying home instead of returning to corporate America. It led me toward building a spiritual business, something that honestly makes very little sense on paper but somehow has always felt deeply right to me.

People ask me all the time if those decisions are scary, and logically they are. Entrepreneurship isn’t predictable. Homeschooling isn’t the mainstream choice. Building a community around spirituality certainly isn’t what I imagined I’d be doing ten years ago.

And yet… I’ve almost always had this strange sense that everything is going to work out.

I don’t know where that feeling comes from. It’s not confidence, because I doubt myself all the time. It’s deeper than confidence. It’s almost like I feel connected to a future version of myself. As if she’s gently reminding me that I’m already on the right path, even when the present version of me can’t quite see where it’s leading.

One of the strongest moments I’ve ever felt that was in Isla Mujeres.

I still think about standing on that island surrounded by women who also seemed to experience life a little differently. There was something about being there that felt strangely familiar, almost like my nervous system finally relaxed. Not because it was a beautiful vacation, although it absolutely was, but because I wasn’t explaining myself all the time. I wasn’t translating who I was into something easier for other people to understand. I could just exist exactly as I was, and everyone else seemed to understand.

That feeling has stayed with me ever since.

Maybe that’s why the idea of starseeds has resonated with me so much. Not because I’m convinced I came from another planet, but because so much of the language around it mirrors experiences I’ve quietly carried my entire life. Feeling different. Feeling deeply connected to intuition. Feeling called toward a life that doesn’t always make sense to other people. Feeling like home isn’t necessarily a place but a feeling you stumble upon every now and then.

Sometimes I wonder how many other mothers quietly feel this way.

How many moms have spent years trying to squeeze themselves into lives that looked right from the outside but never quite felt right on the inside. How many have dreams that don’t fit neatly into the expectations they’ve been given. How many are secretly wondering if they’re the only ones asking these questions.

Maybe that’s why this idea has stayed with me.

Not because I need an answer.

But because, for the first time, I found words that describe a feeling I’ve carried for as long as I can remember.