The Morning Monica Realized How Long She Had Been in Survival Mode

Before Monica ever stepped foot on the island, she almost didn’t come.

After she paid her deposit for the retreat, she sent me a DM. She was nervous about leaving her son for the first time and flying to Mexico from Canada. During that conversation, she shared something I didn’t know. She hadn’t left her home country in over ten years.

When she told me that, I remember thinking how easy it would have been for her to back out. She was a stay-at-home mom and a business owner. Her toddler was still home with her during the day. She didn’t have a ton of help. Like so many moms, she spent most of her time taking care of everyone else while trying to squeeze her own needs into whatever space was left over. She rarely complained, but you could tell she had been carrying a lot for a very long time.

But despite all of that, she got on the plane.

When we arrived in Isla Mujeres, it had been a long travel day. We settled into the villa, shared dinner, laughed together, and eventually headed to bed. The next morning, before anyone else was awake, Monica wandered outside by herself.

The villa was completely quiet. The pool was empty. The gazebo that had been filled with conversation and laughter the night before sat still. She walked down toward the rocks overlooking the ocean and sat there watching the water.

As she looked out across the waves, she noticed two pelicans diving into the ocean for food. They looked so effortless. They weren’t rushing. They weren’t worried about tomorrow. They weren’t trying to be somewhere else. They were simply there, fully present in the moment.

Monica later told us that sitting on those rocks, watching those birds, she started crying. Not because anything bad had happened. Not because she missed home. Not because she regretted coming. She cried because she realized how long it had been since she had stopped moving.

For years she had been taking care of her son, running her business, managing responsibilities, and doing what needed to be done every single day. She had become so used to carrying everything that survival mode felt normal. As she sat there looking at the ocean, she realized how exhausted she really was. She realized how much of her life had become about getting through the day instead of actually living it.

I think a lot of mothers will understand exactly what she means. We get so good at functioning. We make the lunches, answer the emails, schedule the appointments, clean the house, build the businesses, and take care of everyone around us. We become so capable that eventually nobody notices how tired we are, sometimes not even ourselves.

Over the next few days, Monica kept receiving the same message over and over again. Rest. Slow down. Take care of yourself. Allow yourself to heal.

One of the most memorable moments happened when our group visited a Mayan zodiac reader on the island. As Monica listened to her reading, the woman began talking about the season of life she was entering and how this chapter would be focused on healing and rest. Before the reading was even finished, Monica became emotional.

She looked around at all of us and said, “That’s exactly why I came on this retreat. That’s exactly why I’m here.”

The rest of us immediately understood.

Because while every mom’s story is different, the feeling is often the same. Many of us have spent years taking care of everyone else before taking care of ourselves. Many of us have forgotten what it feels like to be fully present. Many of us are carrying far more than anyone realizes.

When moms first see photos of our retreats, they often notice the beautiful villa, the chef-prepared meals, the turquoise water, and the palm trees. Those things are wonderful, and they absolutely add to the experience. But that’s not what Monica took home with her.

What she took home was the reminder that she matters too. She took home the feeling of sitting quietly by the ocean with nowhere to be and nothing to prove. She took home new friendships with women who understood her without needing an explanation. Most importantly, she took home a sense of calm that had been missing for a very long time.

And honestly, that’s the real reason we do these retreats. Not because moms need another vacation. Because sometimes moms need a chance to remember what it feels like to be themselves again.